“I feel unsafe.”
“I’m needing trust.”
Ever find yourself saying these words? In my experience, needs for “safety” and “trust,” particularly when expressed without any specific requests, are often dead-ends — needs that secretly contain judgments of the other as “unsafe” or “untrustworthy,” and that don’t lend themselves to the sense of connection and compassion that we are ultimately wanting.
These are big needs, important needs, no doubt.
But what if the experience of being safe and feeling trust is an inside job? What if we get these needs met because we choose them?