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Gainesville, FL

1 (855) EMPATHY

Life and communication coaching for women.

We Didn't Start the Fire


We Didn't Start the Fire

Marina Smerling

We didn't make this stuff up.

The inner voices that rattle us daily –”Didn’t accomplish enough.” “Not outspoken enough.” “Not beautiful enough.” “Not smart enough.” “Not powerful enough.”– we didn’t make this stuff up.

The epidemic of shame that shapes our world, our culture, our daily lives, our experience of the world… creating a sense of isolation and chronic “not enough-ness” — we inherited this stuff.

It’s a wildfire that’s been raging for generations, and sure enough crept its way into our beliefs, thought patterns, and habitual reactions, and our would-be wild and woolly hearts.

If our ancestors had all known how God-damn beautiful they were, how miraculously wonderful and perfect and enough they were, had they been able to rest inside themselves with the knowledge that they were sufficient, how might this have impacted their offspring, and their offspring’s offspring, and their offspring’s offspring’s offspring, and…well… us?

Can you imagine being the progeny of generations’ of self-love?

Generations who were gentle with themselves, and who offered their heartache and fears a compassionate “there, there” when times were tough?

Generations who had known deeply in their bones they could love all of life shamelessly, including themselves, and take long naps whenever they got run-down?

Were we such lucky heirs, might we be just a little easier on ourselves when we lost our car keys or we burned the pancakes, when we were heartbroken from the loss of a long-time lover, or when we didn’t get that job that we really, really wanted?

I wish two things:

1) That we may heal the patterns of shame in ourselves that keep us from seeing clearly the miracles that we are, the miracles that are our beating hearts and breathing lungs and capacity to speak and sing and dance and love.

2) That we may offer retroactive healing to our ancestors, with a wish that they may be freed from the shame that they, too, inherited, and that likewise plagued them.

My sense is that something powerful happens when we offer both this present-moment and retroactive healing, whether you believe this involves a mere metaphorical wish or a real, energetic shift.  Somehow, able to lean against our ancestors’ shameless shoulders, we can claim our own hearts more fully, we can stand more readily in our power, we can rest reassured that we’re okay, deep down, and maybe don’t need to try so dang hard.

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